cbt

i wanna love like i've never been hurt

but the fact is

i'm too sensitive for that.

raw with emotion

which springs to the surface

when i least want

or expect it.

i'm not a baby anymore

but sometimes i feel i act like one

never having learned the proper way to defend myself

when feeling under attack.

i've spent whole days hurting

which had nothing to do with love.

a discrepancy in the brain

a malfunction, creating negativity

which could often go on for days

or maybe even 

weeks.

i'm a whole lot better now

after trials of medications

& a good deal of

cognitive behavioural therapy.

but that doesn't mean

i don't remember.

triggering still happens,

& that frightened child

angry teenager

or ill-prepared adult

rises up

in an effort to defend herself.

loving like i've never been hurt?

wow.

wouldn't that be a dream come true . . . 

so much 

easier for you

to stay in love with me ~

& so much happier for me

to stay in love with you. 

pegw.

2020