i am learning to despise
unsaid goodbyes.
friends you thought you'd see again
washed away
like summer rain . . .
my first ex-husband
may be on his way
out the 'Permanent Door'.
i do not love him still
but dammit, i Care ;
i care about what he's going through
his wife
& the finality
of the end of life.
we had children together ~
2 bright, beautiful boys
now fully grown men
but the memories . . .
those memories hold a part of me
that wouldn't exist
without that man.
quietly
i hold my grief
knowing i have already seen him
for the very last time . . .
& truthfully
that is probably the kindest thing
for both of us.
he has always been so vibrant - silly -
full of life -
& i've not been his wife
for over 40 years ~
but maybe 'first loves' tend
to die extra hard
especially if
you end
as friends . . .
(c) Mela 9/'26
