respect

sometimes i have to write things

just to sort them out in my head.

make me stronger.

more firm in my resolve.

so;

as we come to the end of this chapter,

i ask that you step up your respect.

view my needs as being important as your own ~

or, as love sometimes does,

even more so.

i'm not asking for much

compared to what i give,

but lately i've been giving too damn much

while past experience has made it evident

that kind of behaviour will destroy me.

i'm already beginning

to feel the effects,

& i'm just not willing

to go back again.

truly,

i have no support system.

last time,

the MH program fucked me up even worse;

now family has told me

it's best i talk to someone else.

that hurt ~

but upon reflection i realized

they're actually right.

if i value & respect them,

unless it's an unexpected crisis

THAT I DID NOT CREATE

i need to enjoy their love & companionship 

& keep this other shit

to myself.

thank God & medication

i'm stronger than i used to be.

i just might be able to pull this off

if i stick to my guns

plant my feet squarely on the ground

& not forget

to respect

ME.

 

pegw.

2020