squeaky clean

last night

when i came to you                                         

all freshly showered 

~ squeaky clean ~

you opened the door

& let me in

one hand motioning

me to silence;

the other, holding

your cordless phone.

i silently took

my place on the bed

to wait for the

'important call'

to end.

it was as i lay there

in my favored spot

that my stomach dropped

to the pit of my heart

& the long silences

met by your husky replies

began to give it

all away.

it was Another Woman

at the end of the line.

another woman

i'd been silenced for.

so . . . what?

you could pretend to her

that i do not

exist?

just like i didn't exist

to the one you almost married ~

just like i have no feelings

no worth

& no pride . . . 

pegw.
2005