i consider myself to be a pleasant person (on the outside anyway), which seems to attract the exact type of people i stay home trying to avoid.
case in point:
after holing up in my house for like 4 days, i ventured out to get some holiday baking supplies. i was in a fairly good mood; a young lady & i both smiled & motioned for the other to go ahead as we simultaneously approached the grocery store entrance. consider mood enhanced slightly.
weaving my way through the produce section, i made eye contact with an older gentleman (ugh, older - he was probably my age) as he passed by on one of those motorized grocery carts. a..n..d...in the spirit of good cheer, i distinctly remember giving him a brief smile before moseying along to the meat department.
sorting through the packaged chicken breasts, i found myself visited by motorcart-man. 'find anything good?', he queried. i replied politely, selected a package, & crossed the aisle to check out the reduced meats. well my goodness, now here he is again, asking if i'm a coffee drinker, followed by more stirring conversation on my part. (dumb-ass!) next thing i know, he's offered to buy me a cup at the in-store coffee stand, most recently infamous for it's plain red holiday container.
NOW i'm getting unsettled, torn between my codependent history of catering to needy people, & the newly found freedom of doing no such thing. i respond that it's nice of him but no thanks, & immediately deduce there are no discounted meats worth the price of this equation. thankfully my next item is (m)aisles away, & off i go.
relieved to have finally ditched this guy, i continue on with my list when Lo & Behold, a man-child is born in the dairy section over by the cheese. & by some kind of Christmas Miracle, that just happens to be precisely where I am! once again he begins some insidious small talk ~ H: 'what are you doing for christmas?' M: 'going to my son's house' (LIE, i had no idea at that point what i was doing) M: 'got any family around?' H: 'a stepson', he says with disgust.
chatting back & forth like old friends (note the sarcasm) the topics jump from place of birth to weather to marriage, dating, & oh yes ~ even what a pretty woman i am. internally i've been squirming this whole time, still wrestling with my polite upbringing & the intense need to get away, but now my creep-o-meter has kicked in, & it's beyond time for me to escape.
'well, let me get some cheese', i say casually, finishing up with, 'take care, & have a good holiday' or some such pleasantry, including a (wtf?) pat on the shoulder. i sincerely doubt the likelihood of this guy having a merry christmas, but can no longer afford to care. he's crossed way too many lines with me, & i have been baffled enough to let him. time to complete my shopping & GTFO!!!
one last encounter just before hitting the check-out, & i hear myself saying 'take care, i'll probably see you again' in that friendly voice that makes me want to kick my own ass.
so that's the story of my christmas stalking - a festive example of why, regardless of what i may want for christmas, what i really need is mental help.
